Billy Zane has the looks of Brando, but the film doesn’t make an offer you can’t refuse.
I met Billy Zane last August at Terrificon, and I told him my mother and I watched “Titanic” on the double VHS set. I paid good money for the selfie, but he gave my mother an autograph picture of his character for free. I love meeting actors, who love meeting their fans, and my mother hangs that picture in her sewing room.
His new movie “Waltzing with Brando” has him producing and portraying the Godfather, Jor-El, Terry Malloy, and Colonel Walter Kurtz himself Marlon Brando. Instead of being an autobiography of his life, the movie focuses on a small portion of his life, regarding his collaboration with the architect Bernard Judge and his dream home on the island of Tahiti. It’s all based on Judge’s memoir “Waltzing with Brando: Planning an Island in Tahiti.”
But like the project, the movie ends up being complicated. Only instead of money and water problems, the screenplay has its cliches that are more exhausting and typical than they are Oscar-worthy.
Jon Heder plays Judge, who is asked by a new client (Rob Corddry) to build a resort in Tahiti, never dreaming that the place would be owned by Brando. The legendary actor also tells him he wants to give up the movie world and settle on an abandoned island. He doesn’t care about winning the Oscar for “On the Waterfront,” he likes to be as far away from the fans and studio executives as possible. And as an activist, he also admires the culture and creatures that inhabit the islands.
Unfortunately for him and fortunately for us, Brando needs the finances for his dream home, and must take on “The Godfather.” That’s when he really looks like Brando. We also get scenes from his other movies, including an end credit sequence when he plays Jor-El. When I saw “Superman: The Movie” as a 13-year-old, that’s how I knew who he was, to be honest with you readers.
And if they’re going to add a hotel to the island, they need to do some environmentally friendly experiments to give it the natural resources. Less mosquitos, and more water and plants. The movie likes to honor the culture and respects the values that the islands can hold.
The movie’s supporting cast also includes Alaina Huffman (“Smallville”) as Judge’s wife, who at one point in the movie is so convinced by Brando’s acting that she slaps him for inadvertently making her believe he was sad. We also get Tia Carrera as Madame Leroy, who tells him she’s the queen of the island and tries to seduce him. But I think we’ll leave the seduction to the flight attendant Michele (Camille Razat from “Emily in Paris”). And Richard Dreyfuss is also cast as Brando’s financial advisor.
Zane seems to be enjoying himself as Brando, and I admire how his appearance tries and fails to convince us “Waltzing with Brando” is using archival footage for his iconic movie scenes. That’s Zane acting. And Heder has a goofy appeal, but he doesn’t seem to be delving into Judge’s life. In fact, I think he’s trying to pull off the architect based on his teeth.
Half of “Waltzing with Brando” pulls off the Godfather look nicely and fights for a good cause, while the other half meanders and wastes some other entertaining talents. If IMDB qualifies it as a drama, then I’m not really taking it seriously. I’m sorry I can’t thank Zane by recommending this movie, but I can thank him for the kindness he gave my mother and I.
In Select Theaters This Friday