Baby Shark Don’t, Don’t, Don’t.
“Thrash” tells the story of a Category 5 hurricane that attacks the coast of South Carolina, and brings in some hungry bull sharks in a neighborhood. We’ve seen videos about sharks swimming in neighborhoods during hurricanes, but they have been debunked as hoaxes. I know because I used to watch Hurricane Sandy videos about that sort of thing. So, now we have a movie about sharks swimming in flooded streets, and I’m saying: I think “Crawl” had a similar set-up regarding alligators. That’s the one you should be watching, not “Thrash.” “Jaws” is the shark film to be treasured, not “Thrash.” And “Deep Blue Sea” is the best rip-off of the genre, not “Thrash.”
We have three sets of survivors who can’t leave their homes. There’s a pregnant woman named Lisa (Phoebe Dynevor), who couldn’t leave town sooner because of her job, a young agoraphobic named Dakota (Whitney Peak), whose marine researcher uncle (Djimon Hounsou) tells her the family house will not survive these conditions, and a trio of foster siblings-sister Dee (Alyla Browne) and brothers Ron (Stacy Clausen) and Will (Dante Ubaldi)-whose adoptive parents are beyond redemption and think everyone is being overdramatic about the upcoming hurricane. But boy, is they wrong. And boy, do they get their comeuppance.
When the hurricane hits, Lisa gets trapped in her car, Dakota must overcome her fears of being outside and in shark infested streets, Ron keeps getting his sweater caught on something, and when the foster parents get eaten, Dee asks: “Does this mean we have to get new foster parents?.” And that’s another B-horror movie this year I’ve seen when the kids are only able to escape from abusive parents are monster attacks, after the cynical zombie movie “This is Not a Test.” But I should be appreciative that no women were kicked my men in this movie and the kids are strong enough to fight back.
Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola (“Violent Night”), “Thrash” only works because of the production designs of the flooded towns and houses. They look and feel creepy enough for sharks to sneak in, but why make another shark movie that’s going to suck? Maybe we’re in a time of B-movies and sharks are required for the genre. And I’m one of those who has neither seen nor endorsed the “Sharknado” franchise. This movie might as well be labeled a satire, especially when Adam McKay is a producer here.
Dynevor and Hounsou are both fine talents, but their performances here are cheesy and routine, and the kid actors are boring and rely some on obligatory “F” words for some motivation. And we’re more interested in how they dodge the sharks more than how they talk. There’s not much for me to talk about in my review. “Thrash” may find its release on Netflix, but it’s just not necessary. In fact, it makes more sense that it gets released online and not in theaters. “Ready or Not 2” and “Exit 8” are both in theaters and well worth your time.
Now Streaming on Netflix