I'll See You at the Movies

The Midway Point: Worst of 2018 So Far

You all know the drill: in the month of June, I share with you my unfavorites of the year so far. Some of them are still in theaters, while most of them are out now on Blu-ray and DVD, but I wouldn’t waste my time on them if I were you. Maybe on an airplane, when you’re too jet-lagged to even care.

10.) “Den of Thieves”

Pablo Schreiber and O’Shea Jackson, Jr. both give fine performances, but this movie talks the talk and doesn’t walk the walk. Meaning: there’s more action and bullets, then character studies or a story. Not even Gerard Butler could save this movie.

9.) “Peter Rabbit”

James Corden is a talented voice actor, and he does some nice work here, but this film version of the classic book feels like nothing more than a rabbit’s version of “Home Alone.” It was big hit with kids, but not me.

8.) “Proud Mary”

This would-be feminine version of “John Wick” is one I’d like to call typical and annoying. Taraji P. Henson does what she can as the title character, but it doesn’t have the pure magic “John Wick” offers. It’s one cliche after another.

7.) “Tomb Raider”

Yet another tired old movie based on a video game, this was just routine from beginning to end. Alicia Vikander, the new lead heroine, has done better, and will do better than this.

“The minute you hear a lot of noise from gun fire and explosions in an action movie, you know that’s too much. And the minute you hear certain lines, like someone being presumed dead, you’re not surprised by the twist.”

6.) “Death Wish”

No surprises here, other than Bruce Willis taking on the Charles Bronson role.

“Even when Willis comes face-to-face with the killers, it’s not surprising. Nothing is surprising in the movie. It’s run-of-the-mill. You can turn him into a viral sensation with social media, but you can’t turn the movie into a hit.”

5.) “Pacific Rim: Uprising”

Charlie Day was the star as the good guy-turned-baddie Newt, but once we met the robots and monsters in the first movie, they’re not special here. This is washed out.

“…….this should have been just a “Transformers” meets “Godzilla” wannabe, instead of an even bigger “Transformers” meets “Godzilla” wannabe. Sorry if I confused you.”

4.) “Book Club”

Watching a comedy about Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steenburgen being turned on by the “Fifty Shades of Grey” book series is just as lame as seeing the actual movies. I skipped the sequels, so this will have to do.

3.) “Life of the Party”

As funny as Melissa McCarthy is, she can’t seem to write good scripts. Being that her character has to finish college, her report card for this movie gets a D-.

2.) “Rampage”

Here is a video game action movie that’s so violent and idiotic, it’s amazing Michael Bay had nothing to do with this. Dwayne Johnson has made a lot of fun movies, but this is one of his few losers.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, it’s the best reviewed movie based on a video game, earning a 51% rating. It’s still overrated.

1.) “A Wrinkle in Time”

This was given praise for its diversity in its casting (from Oprah to Reese Witherspoon to Mindy Kaling), and its message about believing in yourself. But we have seen those things many times in better movies. This Disney feature was just an annoying, aimless, and confusing mess. I’m glad it bombed at the box office.

At least, I haven’t had a Zero Star review this year……………… so far.

Come back in December when you find out the real losers of the year.

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