Fifty Shades of Grey

The following contains the very reasons why I skipped “Fifty Shades Darker” and why I’m not going near “Fifty Shades Freed” with a ten-foot pole.

I can’t always go with the flow, so I didn’t really have the anticipation for the film version of “Fifty Shades of Grey” as much as the young audience did. A person asked me yesterday if I read E.L. James’ erotic novel, and I said:”No, I don’t read teen novels.” The person responded: “This isn’t a teen novel,” and I am asking myself: “Then why are the teens seeing it?”

The love birds in “Fifty Shades of Grey” are often referred to as the Dominant or the Submissive. The Dominant is wealthy businessman Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and the Submissive is soon-to-be collage graduate Anna Steele (Dakota Johnson). It’s love at first sight for Mr. Grey (as he likes to be called) and it is kind of awkward for Anna.

I would mention how the sexual activity works in the movie, but young children could be reading this, so I will try to condense it the best I can. Mr. Grey may sleep with women, but he doesn’t sleep with them. By that, he doesn’t sleep next to them, so he has to place Anna in a separate room.

His “play room” is filled with so many sex toys, that I have to admit: I am not attracted to sex when some assembly is required. I don’t do chains, whips, sex books, ice, or costumes. And if anyone has a problem with it, then C’est la vie.

And one more thing: Mr. Grey makes Anna sign a contract about their relationship. He can make love to her anyway he wants, she can’t sleep with other men (DUH!), and has to show respect for him. This whole contract to me seems phony. And what’s more, he plans to take her out on a date. Oh wow! He likes her, he arouses her, and now, he has to date her? Who cares?!!!

The movie was originally going to be rated NC-17, because of the graphic sex, but it changed it to R. In my opinion, if a movie cares more about sex than the story, than you place it in an adult movie theater, not a family theater. In fact, this is no family movie.

The acting is bad, the reality is brain dead here, and when I saw this on an IMAX screen, I didn’t care. Yawn!!

Now you know why I skipped “Fifty Shades Darker” and why I will skip “Fifty Shades Freed.”


Fifty Shades Marathon in Select Theaters on Thursday Feb 8 (For those of you who like this crap)

Categories: Drama, Romance

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