comedy Sport

The Buddy Games

Booze and “F” bombs don’t make this comedy a winner; they makes it a loser.

Let me make a distinction. “Tag” was one of the worst comedies I’ve ever seen, because of its violent and crass attitude. “Jackass” has made three hilarious gross-out movies, and I’m man enough to admit I’ve enjoyed them. And now, Josh Duhamel’s directorial debut of “The Buddy Games” splices those two movies, and it’s quite tasteless.

You’re asking me: “Is it that bad?”

My response: “Would you like to have to have a beverage spiked with semen or watch men drink laxatives and crap their pants at a local bar?”

You’re response: silence.

My response: “Didn’t think so.”

The Buddy Games is an annual competition game, hosted by Bob (Duhamel), whom his friends call “The Bobfather.” They consist of the sore winner champ Shelly (Dan Bakkedahl), the jealous Bender (Nick Swardson), the doctor Doc (Kevin Dillion), the would-be actor Durfy (Dax Shepard), and the gym rat Zane (James Roday).

Here’s when the crass humor begins. Shelly decides to teabag a sleeping person, and Bender shoots him in his testicles with a paintball gun, and falls over. Now, his championship streak is over.

Years later, he’s snorting crushed up SweetTarts, because both his testicles had to be removed, and he needs something to shake his spirits again. Thats when Bob decides to bring all the guys back together for the Buddy Games. All except for Bender, whom he lies to about the game requiring a $10,000 entry fee to not hurt his feelings.

During this section, Bender only has two funny scenes. One is when he pawns his dead mother’s china bowls and says “Made in China.” And the other is when he freaks out about him going through every desperate attempt to raise the so-called entry fee, when he finds out it wasn’t real. The rest of his comedy is ugly and desperate. The worst moments are when he steals change money from sweet, little girls running a lemonade stand, and when he prostitutes himself in a van while farting.

But wait, it’s not over yet. Because more violent and gross-out gags pour in. The semen drinks and laxatives I’ve mentioned; Shelly biting a giant reptile’s tongue; Durfy getting attacked by a ravenous mink and having part of his ear bitten off; and Bob getting pierced through the hand with an arrow. At least there’s one more funny scene there, and that’s when Bender catches an arrow that was about to hit him in the face, and shouts: “You were gonna shoot me in the face?!”

Swardson is the only actor to have some ticklish moments, while the rest of the cast drops “F” bombs, go through the motions, and has Bob’s would-be fiancee (Olivia Munn) attacking him for choosing her over his buddies. What the Hell was Josh Duhamel thinking when he chose to make a comedy like this?

Rating: 1 out of 4.

In Select Theaters, On DVD, and On Demand.

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