Chaos Walking

Too many thoughts means too much noise.

To quote the Grinch in regards to a world where you can read and see all the men’s thoughts,” “That’s one thing I hate. All the noise, noise, noise noise!!!” The movie “Chaos Walking” takes place in that world, which also claims to have no women, and this is quite a nuisance to me. You can see and hear their thoughts through a vibration of blue and purple colors. With all the thoughts going around, it’s hard to focus or comprehend what the Hell these people are talking about. It’s like talking to someone on the phone with people bugging you simultaneously. It’s a headache.

It also casts Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley in the lead roles, and while they can take breaks from their Disney personalities (Holland playing Peter Parker and Ridley playing Rey Skywalker) and expand their horizons, they’re both cheap and stiff here as two youngsters from literally different worlds. Holland is Todd, who lives on this world with his farmer father (Demian Bichir), while Ridley plays Viola, who was born and raised on a space ship, and her pod crash-lands on this planet.

The mayor of his town is Mayor Prentiss (Mads Mikkelsen), who dresses like a “True Grit” fan (only with a fox fur coat), and wants the girl dead. His henchmen include his son (Nick Jonas) and the local preacher (David Oyelowo), both of whom have no personalities or ambitions. Matter of fact, they all just scurry around trying to find the girl. Why do they want her dead? Because she deems a threat to their society. What threat exactly? I couldn’t follow with all these thoughts.

The only moments that did relax me are when Cynthia Erivo comes in as the leader of a peaceful settlement, and when both Holland Ridley take a shabby boat down a river to escape from the evil preacher. Erivo actually has passion inside her character, compared to the rest, while being an admirer of water, I thought the river sequence was cool.

“Chaos Walking” was directed by Doug Liman, who also released “Locked Down” earlier this year. He is versatile filmmaker with a number of fresh entries like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” and “Edge of Tomorrow,” among others, but these two films lack his creative spark. “Chaos Walking” is even worse than “Locked Down.”

The thoughts are forced to place Holland’s character in awkward positions, regrading his interests in Ridley’s character, especially when they deceive him into thinking they’re making out. She responds: “What are you doing?,” and he walks away apologizing. You know what? This is putting it mildly. These thoughts are too silly to take seriously, and even its action sequences are silly. Like when she rides a motorcycle off a hill and when he follows on a horse. What is this a sports movie? It’s a dumb movie with a confusing story and lame characters, who never reveal themselves, and do the same gimmicks over and over again.

When Sci-Fi movies have to be delayed and the poster looks less than interesting, you can tell you’re in a for a mess. Especially since it got a negative response from its test audience. I’ve seen better and I will see better again. In this world, let’s not put our thinking caps on, shall we?

Rating: 1.5 out of 4.

Categories: Action, Adventure, Sci Fi

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