It’s a Wonderful Binge

This coked-up sequel isn’t how you spend the holidays.

Why would “The Binge” require a holiday themed sequel? Because if “National Lampoon’s Vacation” got “Christmas Vacation,” and “Harold & Kumar” got “A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas,” and “Bad Moms” got “A Bad Moms Christmas,” then why can’t this sequel be called “It’s a Wonderful Binge?” I’ve seen parts of the first movie, which spoofed “The Purge” by making it the one night of the year when all drugs and alcohol are legal, and it’s just as bad as Richard Roeper warned. It would make sense that they moved it to Christmas Eve to lay off the stress of shopping and cooking. I have no disrespect for my family, in fact, I love my family, but I have great disrespect for the families presented here.

Two of the three friends from the last film are trapped in subplots so aggravating, you can’t even imagine why anyone would want to make a reality TV show about them, and my mom has seen some pretty stupid families on TV.

Hags (Dexter Darden) has earned his blessing from his future-father-in-law Keegan (Tim Meadows) to marry his mean and stupid adoptive daughter Sarah (Zainne Saleh), but loses the family engagement ring. And Andrew (Eduardo Franco) is trapped in a “It’s a Wonderful Life” parody, where Danny Trejo does a lousy job acting as his guardian angel, who shows him that his family would be better off without him. I don’t even think he is his guardian angel.

The worst parts of “It’s a Wonderful Binge” feature Kaitlin Olsen as a mayor so mean and aggressive, she tells a little girl with nut allergies that Santa won’t visit her if she complains. She also has a Christmas Owl (whatever that means) to boost up her polls in the election, but that consumes some drugs to the point of it going AWOL. She’s just as nasty as Isla Fisher was in “Tag,” and these two actresses are talented. And is it supposed to be a running gag when she constantly tells her security guard to shoot someone, when he tells her he has no gun?

You have to be high as a kite to think I would give this movie a good review. It’s a terrible Christmas sequel that thinks everyone is into mean and stupid characters. “Beavis & Butthead” can be stupid and funny, but the key that this Hulu franchise can’t seem to grasp is it has to be funny. It’s all too predictable and obvious for me to enjoy.

Why are mean characters supposed to be funny? You can’t drop F-bombs because you’re in an R-rated movie; you’re supposed to say them with sincerity. I can never understand this part of the comedy genre. It just doesn’t make me feel good.

I’ve had biology and latin teachers in high school, who often insulted some of my classmates with names like “Weed Head,” “Crack Head,” and “Lunkhead.” With the exception of Tim Meadows, who can be likable, everyone in this sequel is either a Weed Head, Crack Head, or Lunkhead. This has too much holiday spirit, or maybe it’s the drugs talking. I don’t know. This is far from jolly or heartwarming.

Rating: 1 out of 4.

Streaming on Hulu

Categories: comedy, Sequel

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