A satire on creepy dolls and the crap that comes out of kids’ mouths.

You know you’re in trouble when the commercials in “M3gan” promote robotic dolls-PurRpetual Petz-that look like if Furbys, Mr Potato Head dolls, and troll dolls had an orgy, were given Margret Keane eyes and tiny dentures, and took a Satin pact, because they look scary. And if they poop out pellets, then that’s supposed to be funny. Ho hum!

And get this. The name of the company is called “Funki.” You can either say: “it’s a rip off of Funko Pop” or you can change the name to “Freaky.” Because that’s what all their products are. Maybe it’s all part of the satire on the future and what kids are into these days.

The 3 in “M3gan” makes this doll “Model 3 Generative Android,” so “M3gan” for short. The designer behind it is Gemma (Allison Williams from “Get Out”), who now becomes the guardian of her recently orphaned niece Cady (Violet McGraw), after her parents died in a car accident. She shows the girl, Bruce, a robot model she made in college, which you can control with gloves. Gemma then decides to perfect its qualities into a girl doll, one that can tell kids to wash their hands after using the bathroom and understanding their dramas. Cady grows so attached to it, that she becomes a spoiled brat, who tells Gemma that M3gan shouldn’t be called a toy, and kicks her car seat.

I understand half the crap that comes out of kids’ mouths these days. I don’t even know what they’re into these days. They watch some pretty awful crap on TV or in movies, some of which are dirtier and more violent than others.

When I was a little, I was forced vinegar in my mouth and was given a smack on the ass. I hate it when kids get whipped by belts, whether it’s in movies or in general. But on the other hand, I never came out a criminal. I came out as a film critic, who tries to keep both sides of my life in tact. But this isn’t a speech; it’s a movie review.

Cady may have lost her parents, an unimaginable case for me, but you don’t threaten anyone with scissors. At least, she acknowledges her troubles, and that’s usually relieving when kids learn their mistakes, and have reasons. Some kids can’t learn, but others can.

The roboticist fails to see that this doll is a female Chucky, who’s capable of killing bullies, dogs, and angry neighbors, until she comes face-to-face with her. The examples I have given get exhausting, but “M3gan” has more life and common sense than the 2019 reboot of “Child’s Play,” and Williams does some good work in the lead role. The best movie of this genre in recent memory is “Ex Machina,” which was about an android who starts to learn about the qualities of being a human, and decides to live her life as one. M3gan isn’t much of a human if she murders people, and setting off bad examples to kids. But, at least, she’s able to entertain them with her dance and fighting skills. Talk to them, not to me, about it.

“M3gan” turns out to be a comedy in disguise with its choice of humor and dialogue. I’d like to see it as an example of what the future holds for the next generation. They’re gonna want their dolls to play hit songs, and they might be disrespectful towards their parents. James Wan and Akela Cooper, who both collaborated on the under-appreciated horror film “Malignant,” represent this genre in ways that horror moths might be taken by surprise.

Rating: 3 out of 4.

Categories: Horror, Sci Fi, Thriller

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