It’s no secret it’s not how you should spend the holidays.
On Max, there’s a comedy called “Sweethearts,” which is about two platonic friends who decide to break up with their spouses before Thanksgiving. And now, on Netflix, we have “Our Little Secret,” which about a couple who break up during the Christmas holidays and reunite with other spouses a decade later.
If you ask me, in regard to the cliches and unfunny gags, these holiday comedies need some serious couples therapy. “Our Little Secret” is going to take a lot longer than “Sweethearts” in reaching the source of its problems.
You know what? Let me be less vague. This movie is just lame and boring.
Lindsay Lohan plays Avery, a young woman who not only denies her boyfriend Logan’s (Ian Harding) marriage proposal, but also dumps him for her dream goal in London. How he handles the break-up is like an overacted and immature version of the Jason Segel character in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” A decade later, she’s now a successful businesswoman with a new boyfriend named Cameron (Jon Rudnitsky), while he’s an architect with a new girlfriend named Cassie (Katie Baker). But what they find out is that Cameron and Cassie are siblings. That means Avery and Logan have to have their awkward reunion.
They must keep their old relationship a secret, especially since Cameron and Cassie’s ageless mother Erica (Kristin Chenoweth) has to act cold towards Avery more so than Logan. And by “ageless,” I mean her portraits make her look so young, which begins to perplex Avery.
When Avery accidentally eats a bag of THC-induced gummies, she nearly makes a complete humiliation out of herself at the church. But she manages to have Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” bail her out.
And of course, we have to have a young trouble maker blackmailing Avery and Logan into doing what he wants. He happens to be the younger brother of the siblings named Callum (Jake Brennan), who owns those drug gummies. What’s his purpose here? I don’t know. Is he supposed to be one of those irredeemable movie jerks. To me, he probably is.
Every once in a while, you get some delicious looking cookies that Erica makes and the family portraits are now making me wonder if Jennifer Lopez or Rob Lowe should be in them. But most of “Our Little Secret” is just bantering, first impressions, SNL cameos from the likes of Tim Meadows and Chris Parnell, and more family secrets. Some more deserving than others. And neither the new spouses of the main characters have any development or interest whatsoever.
As a Netflix holiday film, at least “Hot Frosty” was more grounded into reality than this movie is. That film, in its own campy way, had its humor and heart in the right place, but “Our Little Secret” has Logan, Harding, and Chenoweth going through the motions. And if you want a better Chenoweth film, then check out her cameo in the film version of “Wicked.” Yes, I know that film was long, but this shorter film almost feels like an eternity. But at least this isn’t the first bad Christmas movie the celebrated actress has appeared in.
Now, I’ve got some holiday preparations to attend to, and neither this nor “Dear Santa” nor “Red One” is on my radar.
Streaming on Netflix
