I'll See You at the Movies

Rampage

No matter what they say about “Rampage” breaking a video game curse, you pretty much know that’s a lie. It’s nothing more than a violent, reckless, and idiotic mess that wastes such fine talents, like our main action hero Dwayne Johnson.

Pretty much the only funny thing he did with the movie is promote it at his gym with the promo saying he is running for his life, and him criticizing them for not making him look like a hero. That was pretty funny. This is pure crap.

In “Rampage,” he plays a primatologist named David Okoye, who communicates with an albino silverback gorilla named George, and ever since he rescued him, he prefers animals over people. Then, a destroyed satellite containing some kind of experimental gas attacks George, a wolf, and a crocodile, turning them into mutated giants.

The villains behind all this are the head of a biogenic company (Malin Akerman) and her brother (Jake Lacy). They plan to bring all these monsters to Chicago, where their company is, so they can collect their samples. Of course, all Hell breaks loose.

And helping the hero David get to Chicago are a former genetic engineer (Naomie Harris), and a cowboy-talking government agent (Jeffrey Dean Morgan).

“Rampage” is so bombastic and noisy, it’s impossible to relax. One thing that prevents this movie from being a zero star rating is one gag, which appears at the end of the movie.

Two things

1: I pretty much saw it coming

2: It’s too late to change my mind.

A lot of the actors, including cameo stars Joe Manganiello and Marley Shelton, are wasted. Harris was wonderful in “Moonlight,” but not here. Akerman is a sexy and smart actress, but not here. And Jake Lacy was fine on “The Office,” but not here. And I’ve said “but not here” three times, but you already know that.

Now, I think Dwayne Johnson is a big talent, but he has mad so many entertaining movies. But even great actors can make a few bombs every now and then.

The CGI, as usual, has taken over the show, and the mayhem is completely reckless. In fact for a PG-13-rated movie, it’s pretty violent. The way the monsters slaughter people, the way the crocodile dies (by getting pierced in the eye), and the way Chicago has to be destroyed. I’m surprised Michael Bay had no part in this.

And wait until you see how awful the villains’ deaths are made.

This is one of the worst movies of the year.

1/2

Categorised in: Action, Adventure, Sci Fi

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How I Rate Movies

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Highest Rating

☠ Poison for the Mind (0/4)

Lowest Rating

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