The year’s worst comedy so far has arrived, and that happens to be “The Spy Who Dumped Me,” a spy spoof that shoots blanks. I’ve heard some laughs in the audience, but you know I wasn’t laughing.

Mila Kunis stars as Audrey, whose boyfriend Drew (Justin Theroux) dumps her via text, and just as she and her friend Morgan (Kate McKinnon) burn some of his things, he tells them to hold everything. And the next day, she is visited by two men (Sam Heughan and Hasan Minhaj), who tell her that Drew is in the C.I.A., and he has something they want-a trophy with a flash drive inside. The two girlfriends escape from a gun fight, and Drew is killed in the process.

So, they travel to Vienna, Austria, where more bullets fly, and they’re both wanted women. There, they also deal with an MI6 agent (the same guy Sam Heughan), who asks Audrey to give him the device for the sake of humanity. And eventually the two girls come face-to-face with an acrobat (Ivanna Sakhno), who refuses to believe they flushed the flash drive down the toilet.

Maybe one joke made me smile and that’s when the girls try to steal a car with a stick and hit a stack of magazines, but I didn’t laugh once. “The Spy Who Dumped Me” is aggressively bad in the way it thinks everyone is stupid, the way it thinks violence and freak-outs are always comedy gold, and the way it proves how bad of a human Kate McKinnon is. The only good movie I liked her in was “Ferdinand,” and that was an animated feature. This, “Ghostbusters,” “Office Christmas Party,” and “Rough Night” are all proof that she can voice cute cartoon characters, but not human beings. All she does is make face, use annoying accents, and says pointless things. What was Lorne Michaels thinking when he brought her to “SNL?”

The movie is rated R for the violence and cursing. You can’t always rely on those two things for big laughs. That’s one thing the movie does wrong, really, really wrong. And it runs for nearly 2 hours. I wanted to leave the theater, it was so bad.

Now I think Mila Kunis is a fine actress in comedies, television, and dramas. But even fine talents can be victims of such cinematic garbage. Her dream guy story goes down the tube, the plot she’s in is cantankerous, and there’s not a single character worth liking. Again, most of the blame goes to McKinnon.

I’m warning you: avoid this comedy at all costs!

1/2

Categories: Action, comedy, Thriller