Could this formulaic action thriller be any stupider?

Morgan Freeman is one of the most acclaimed and celebrated actors of this century or any century, but even he has made some bombs like “Ben-Hur,” “Dreamcatcher,” and “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms.” His next loser “Vanquish” is a stupid and incompetent piece of crap that has too much editing, bad acting, and lack of inspiration. It appears to me that all writer/director George Gallo seemed to care about was how scenes had to fade-in-fade-out, how the lighting has to be in greens and blues and yellows, how the skies have to have CGI clouds and fireworks (or whatever the Hell they are), how cocaine has to be blown in the air, and how guns have to survive every situation.

The colors made the scenes look cool (especially when a camera screen combines yellow and green), but looks are all that they’re cracked up to be. It’s cinematic junk food that has the makings of a fake movie you see in movies and shows. Even the posters warn you it’s a flop. The same deal applies to that Bruce Willis/Frank Grillo borefest “Cosmic Sin.” They’re just plain stupid and empty.

In “Vanquish,” Freeman plays a retired, paraplegic cop named Damon, who has previously gotten the single mother and former Russian drug courier Victoria (Ruby Rose) out of trouble in the past. He takes advantage of her situation, by holding her little girl (Juju Journey Brener) hostage and forcing her to do one last job. She has to make five stops with five pick-ups-money. What else?

Victoria has to be the action hero, when he shoots the first dealer and takes his money, and then continues to threaten and dodge more bad guys. There are also dirty cops, and like the protagonists and other antagonists you don’t care about any of them. And Victoria threatens to kill Damon if he harms her little girl, of course. You have to be new to movies to never have heard that before.

Among the corny dialogue, “butt out” and “It’s open season” have to exchanged between Damon and one of the bad guys, and I’m pondering if they’re serious. Sometimes you hear a “grrr,” sometimes you hear “Who the Hell is this guy,” and don’t get me started on the way Damon says: “Oh, sh*t.” This was written by idiots for idiots. You know what, this movie should have been called “Action Thrillers for Dummies,” and neither Rose nor Freeman could do anything about it.

I can’t stand a minute of anyone or anything in “Vanquish,” but I have high hopes I’ll forget about this movie. If not, then I might have something to talk about later on.

Rating: 1 out of 4.

In Select Theaters and On Demand

Categories: Action, Crime, Thriller

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