Shotgun Wedding

Don’t RSVP to this wedding.

Jennifer Lopez and Josh Duhamel are two of our most appealing hot stars. They both should know better than to succumb to the idiocy and cliches of “Shotgun Wedding,” a wedding romcom that almost as tasteless as a faux wedding cake. You know. The fake wedding cake that two millennials have to cut, and then serve only cookies and pastries at their wedding. Who doesn’t have cake at a wedding. I mean, what kind of people?

That’s just me venting about one thing.

I’m venting about another thing. I’ve complained that Lopez’s last wedding romcom “Marry Me” was a missed opportunity last year, and “Shotgun Wedding” isn’t as bad as “Monster-in-Law.” Only instead of psycho mother-in-laws or former intendeds cheating on her or her being a “Wedding Planner” (almost forgot about that), she has to deal with pirates at her wedding in the Philippines, when, in actuality, was filmed in the Dominican Republic.

It’s bad luck to for her character Darcy and Duhamel’s character Tom to see each other before they tie the knot, but they meet before to argue about their relationship. Are they really ready to marry or do they have second thoughts? Typical, typical relationships.

Plus, it might actually end up being good luck for them, when they’re able to thwart the pirates who cross their paths.

The comedy has to rely on the pirates wanting Darcy’s father Robert (Cheech Marin), and Tom’s mom Carol (Jennifer Coolidge) says: “Robert, they’re calling you,” and he responds: “Thanks, Carol.” Other jokes regard cell phones being thrown in the pool, since they force the guests in it, and Tom slicing his hand on a meat slicer while trying to get his restraints off. And you guessed it, Tracy faints.

The only actor to keep his cool is Lenny Kravitz, who crashes the wedding as Darcy’s ex-lover. He has the hair, glasses, and attitude to keep his iconic state in tact. At least for a while, because he has to be revealed as a bad guy, which threatens to destroy his likability here.

And I did smile when another wedding goer (María del Mar Fernández) wears white to the wedding, which is kind of a rule because “Here Comes the Bride All Dressed in White.” She’s like: “I didn’t know that was a rule,” and Carol responds: “Yes, you did.”

“Shotgun Wedding” got a theatrical release in some countries, while others like ours is given an Amazon Prime Video release. Looking at its concept and choice of humor, it doesn’t seem like a movie you would see in theaters, especially since “Marry Me” was released simultaneously in theaters and on Peacock.

In the same upcoming weekend, “You People” on Netflix and “Shotgun Wedding” on Amazon are two R-rated comedies about weddings with different results, and they both can’t choose their targets wisely. They may feature a number of appealing stars, but the key thing is they have to know what they’re all getting themselves into.

Lopez and Duhamel could have chemistry if only they were given better material in the screenplay Mark Hammer and direction by Jason Moore (“Pitch Perfect”). They’re now in their 50s, but they still look and feel good. They just need to make sure their scripts are good. That or they both need to fire their agents.

Long walk down the aisle for that romcom hit.

Rating: 2 out of 4.

Categories: Action, comedy, Romance

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