A reboot nobody asked for.
The 1994 cult classic “The Crow” would have made Brandon Lee a bonafide movie star if that prop gun didn’t kill him. It was a visual wonder of dark fantasy that still works well, even by today’s standards. Lee was the real heart and soul of that film, and he’ll never be forgotten. He just needs to be introduced to Gen Z, who need to know who he was and how big of impact he could have made on his movie career.
30 years later, we have to get a reboot of that film, under the distribution of Lionsgate and the direction of Rupert Sanders (“Snow White and the Huntsman,” “Ghost in the Shell”), and now has Bill Skarsgard in the read role of Eric Draven, who gets resurrected to kill the men who murdered him and his girlfriend.
I think we agree that according to the trailers, the word of mouth, and the review embargo being lifted at 7PM-an hour after the 6PM showing on Thursday night-that it’s an unnecessary and lousy piece of crap. That’s when you know you’re in trouble, and when you should have trusted your gut and skipped out on it.
Like the original, which is based on James O’Barr’s comic book series, this one is rated R, but this time, we have to see the murder of the lovers Eric and Shelley Webster (FKA Twigs) being treated like torture porn, people getting sliced and stabbed through eyes, and all kinds of bloody carnage that feels so flat it doesn’t even feel like the movie wants to have fun with the genre. It all feels gruesome and boring.
The original, directed by Alex Proyas, had a certain kind of style and charisma. We were able to enjoy the heroes and villains, and see how Lee was able to play the lead role. In this version, it feels so bleak and damp, we can’t identify with neither the good guys nor bad guys. And their dialogue even made some of the very audience members in the theater laugh.
Skarsgard is a fine young actor, with a strong list of roles in “It,” “John Wick: Chapter 4,” “The Devil All the Time,” and “Barbarian.” But in “The Crow,” he looks and feels distracted, like he doesn’t want to be here. He even had reservations against the filmmakers changing the ending for a sequel possibility, which I doubt will happen given our affection for the original and what the box office brings at the end of the summer.
I’ve only heard one song from FKA Twigs, off the “King’s Man” soundtrack, and it’s a good one. And she’s attractive here from time to time, but there’s nothing more to her character that interests us.
And Danny Huston is another fine actor that’s wasted and lifeless here as Vincent Roeg, a demonic crime lord, who has the power to manipulate people into either killing themselves or other people. I think he and the Russell Crowe villain in “Winter’s Tale” would have a lot in common, based on how they’re written and presented here. And the screenplay was co-written by Zach Baylin, who has done better than this.
As a wise animated film critic named Jay Sherman once said: “If it’s a remake of the classic, rent the classic.” That’s exactly what you should do here. See “The Crow” with Brandon Lee from 1994, not “The Crow” with Bill Skarsgard from this year.