Morbius

This empty Marvel vampire movie sucks the life out of you.

Jared Leto just won the Razzie for his awful performance in “House of Gucci,” when he played that clownish portrayal of Paolo Gucci. His latest film is “Morbius,” which is the latest action horror film from Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios. Maybe that will want him another Razzie nomination, or we’re in for some bad times at the movies.

As far as I’m concerned when Marvel Studios are outside the MCU, they haven’t been good lately. “Dark Phoenix” and “The New Mutants,” both released by Fox, were depressing, while “Venom” form Sony Pictures was a disaster with an improving sequel. “Morbius” has been delayed for a while, and I don’t think it was just the pandemic. Maybe the studio knows they have a turkey on their hands, and decide to go for the April 1st slot.

In it, he plays Dr. Michael Morbius, a brilliant doctor who managed to develop synthetic blood which saved million of lives, but still can’t cure his own condition which can’t allow his body to produce fresh blood. That’s why he decides to put genes from some vampire bats he’s stolen inside his own genes, so he can become a vampire. His scientist girlfriend Martina (Adria Arjona) thinks it’s dangerous, but he’s willing to push himself to the next level. That’s when he becomes a bloodthirsty vampire, who is smart enough to figure out how he can survive the sun. Remember: because the sun is their mortal enemy.

Jared Leto plays Morbius’ father figure and mentor Emil Nikols, who believes he’s destined for greatness, while Matt Smith plays his surrogate brother Milo, who is jealous that being vampire would give Morbius immortality, while he’s slowly dying. That’s why he has to be the bad vampire. And Tyrese Gibson and Al Madrigal play two FBI agents investigating Morbius’ attacks when he transformed himself. They think he’s the bad guy, when it’s really Milo. At least, Smith, Gibson, and Madrigal are nicely cast with their intentions and timing. “Holy water, really?,” says Gibson.

I wish the trailers and commercials said: “WARNING: This movie may cause severe drowsiness, narcolepsy, depression, aggravation, and acute moodiness. Please contact your doctor if symptoms resume.” “Morbius” is that movie.

We shouldn’t turn against Jared Leto, because he’s given some of his best performances in “Requiem for a Dream” and “Dallas Buyers Club,” but those films knew how to guide the actor. They knew his motivations and skills, whereas “Suicide Squad,” “House of Gucci,” and now “Morbius” are wasted AF. In “Morbius,” he’s not even close to interesting. All he does is develop vampire eyes and skimps along with or without the special effects holding him hostage.

Director Daniel Espinosa, whose best work was “Safe House,” has been losing his way with “Child 44,” “Life,” and now this bomb. He needs to figure out what kind of films he wants to make, instead of relying on comic books or what movie goers crave to provide entertainment. “Morbius” isn’t entertainment; it’s depression and boredom which doesn’t deserve any popcorn.

If you want a better vampire movie to see, one that’s actually stylish, smart, and entertaining, then check out “Interview With The Vampire.” Or if you aren’t into vampires and need some action in your life, “Everything Everywhere All At Once” is expanding to more theaters soon, and trust me: it’s a mind-blowing experience. And if you have better judgement, skip this piece of bloody crap.

Rating: 1 out of 4.


Categories: Action, Adventure, Horror, Sci Fi, Thriller

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