
SpongeBob and Sandy must deal with a scary villain, a wasted family reunion, and a stupid plot.
I have so many questions and comments about the new villain of “Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks movie.” Wanda Sykes is Sue Nahmee, the evil CEO of a genetic company dedicated to turning sea creatures into pets who can breathe air. The reason is because as a child, she takes a fish from an aquarium touch pool, and after sleeping with it in bed, it dies. Who wants to sleep with real fish in a bed, and what happens if they roll over? Do they squish the fish, squid, or starfish or suffocate them?
Her face is pasted on a child actress’ head almost like the live action faces of Mel Gibson or Saddam Hussein on “South Park.” Why is it necessary for the filmmakers to make her look like that? It almost makes us wish for a 30th anniversary release of “Clifford,” which was a stupid comedy that used special effects to make Martin Short look like an evil child.
And one last thing. She’s revealed to be a disembodied head creature, who starts off as a robot, and when a giant mutant fish eats her head, she, somehow, now has control of that fish. Now, my next question: is she some kind of an alien or a lab experiment gone horribly wrong?
That’s one of the many misfires of the latest “SpongeBob SquarePants” movie, which gives the sea sponge’s squirrel friend Sandy Cheeks the leading role, but doesn’t even know how to execute it. Or maybe it’s just inducing in the idiocy that Nickelodeon usually engages in. And the animation studio has crafted fresh entertainment from time to time, like last year when we had the entertaining “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.” But even shows like “Planet Sheen” or “Fanboy and Chum Chum” have bombed with fans.
Because of the villain’s spoiled and idiotic plot, a portion of SpongeBob’s home town of Bikini Bottom gets taken away by a giant claw, and both he (voiced by Tom Kenny) and Sandy (voiced by Carolyn Lawrence) must venture into the human world, with live-action humans and CGI animals. At this very moment, we’re not sure these are humans if they engage themselves in a tornado police chase, and we don’t even see the cops in those vehicles.
I’m sure fans of the cartoons have been salvaging the day when they get to finally meet Sandy’s family. That day has come, but not the way we hoped it would. They have to be a traveling circus family, who don’t have the delightful charms of “Dumbo,” “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted,” or “Animal Crackers,” or even the dazzling extravagance of Cirque du Soleil, but they do have talented voice actors like Johnny Knoxville as her brother, Craig Robinson as her father, and Grey DeLisle-Griffin in multiple voice roles as her mom, grandma, and twin siblings.
I’ve praised the first two “SpongeBob” movies from 2004 and 2015, and I liked parts of “Sponge on the Run,” but “Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie” has to be the worst of the films. I grew up on the earlier days of the Nickelodeon show, and even told Kenny he was this generation’s Mel Blanc. But lately, I feel the show or franchise (if it does spin-offs) has gotten self-congratulatory and forgetful of the past. I know because these days SpongeBob doesn’t remember who DoodleBob was and that maps existed. And I think this show should be not a finalist in anymore Kid’s Choice Awards if it’s always going to win the Best Cartoon award. And being that the program is set up by Nick, I like to consider that nepotism.
Streaming on Netflix

