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Jurassic World: Rebirth

A sequel that’s a million years in the past, yet again.

Here’s how I thought about “Jurassic World: Dominion” when I panned it: “ It seems so routine about how its story was supposed to end, as if we’re supposed to expect reboots. Please don’t let us suffer.”

So, why are we not surprised that “Jurassic World: Rebirth” would be made? Because I guess people love the franchise and they love dinosaurs. There’s a line used in an early scene that suggests that “People don’t care about dinosaurs anymore.” And that’s half true, because these “Jurassic Park” or “Jurassic World” sequels (whatever we should call them) made billions of dollars, while a majority of us miss the good old days when Steven Spielberg brought these creatures back to life in 1993.

I wanted to like “Jurassic World: Rebirth,” because of my enjoyment of the older films, the rides at Universal Studios in Orlando, and even the 2015 movie which had its moments. But “Fallen Kingdom,” “Dominion,” and “Rebirth” have all proven the franchise’s extinction. In fact, they follow the same rules of the movies: missions, chases, kids in danger, soldiers as hors d’oeuvres, and villains being the main course. Interestingly enough, a father is criticized for bringing his child on a trip through dinosaur infested waters.

The plot: dinosaurs can barely coexist with humans based on the climate, so islands near the equator are their best bet. Those islands are illegal to travel to, but that doesn’t stop a team from traveling there to get samples from three types of dinosaurs for medical purposes. You know the medicine that could save people’s lives. What else?

The good guys: the covert operative Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), the paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), and the team leader Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali). They’re all willing to take the risk, although Loomis tries to suggest to the money hungry Bennett that the drug should be affordable to everyone, not just the rich (“We don’t rule the Earth, we just think we do,” says Dr. Loomis). And they do show some helpful qualities when they come across a family, whose sailboat gets attacked by sea creatures, one of them imitates that dock scene in “Jaws.”

The family they rescue: the father Ruben Delgado (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), his college bound daughter Teresa (Luna Blaise), his youngest daughter Isabelle (Audrina Miranda), and Teresa’s lazy, but well-meaning boyfriend Xavier (David Iacono). You know the kind when the father gets mixed feelings about him, but soon warms up to him.

The bad guy we can smell a mile away: the pharmaceutical representative Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) from ParkerGenix. You can tell by how he dresses in his earlier scenes, how he puts the teenage daughter in danger when she tries to call for help, and how he has a gun. That’s how ambitious he is about the medicine.

The dinosaurs on that island: a lot of them have mutated after experiments gone wrong. One of them-a D-Rex-almost looks like an Xenomorph from the “Alien” franchise.

There are some impressive set designs, like an abandoned gas station that wakes up to the tune of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me.” I also like when a dinosaur makes its way in a convenient store, it steps on a red drink which leads to a drain almost in the style of the shower scene in “Psycho.” And any river looks exciting in a “Jurassic” movie.

But maybe I’m just not into this franchise as I used to be. It might make a comeback one day, I don’t know, but I still didn’t care about “Jurassic World: Rebirth.” It may be directed by Gareth Edwards, who is a natural filmmaker, but it doesn’t make a difference. We might as well get Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble right over here.

Rating: 1.5 out of 4.

1 reply »

  1. Good review. Personally, I didn’t care for this movie. I get that the movie is trying to go back to its original roots, but most (if not all) the characters are one-dimensional and forgetful, the story seems lazy, and the overall purpose for the feature is redundant. I think its definitely time for this movie franchise to be put to rest.

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