No chocolate cake for this witchy sequel.

I think the real reason why “Practical Magic” had a cult following is because Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are photogenic actresses. We’ve had similar cases of bad movies being hits because of how attractive the stars are with “Striptease” with Demi Moore, “The Other Woman” with Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, and Kate Upton, or “The Runner” with Gal Gadot on Prime Video. That’s my assumption. Yes, the special effects were great and practical as they can be, but the movie was like a soap opera where you’re more interested in the book you’re reading than the program.

And because of this cult following, we have a sequel “Practical Magic 2.” I can only promise you two things: Bullock and Kidman are both back as Sally and Gillian, they’re still attractive today with some kind of youth elixir, and the special effects for the witchcraft are magical. And Gillian does tell Sally she’s a “piece of meat in ‘90s clothing.” The sequel, however, is more annoying, cynical, and soapier than the first.

For those of you who do recall the first movie. The Owens sisters-the cynical normal wannabe Sally and the outgoing and spiritual Gillian-are witches raised by their eccentric aunts Jet (Dianne Wiest) and Franny (Stockard Channing) and plagued with a curse. The kind in which their ancestor Maria Owens has given up on love to the point of casting a spell on herself that transitions into a curse that kills any man who loves an Owens woman.

Years later, Sally’s two daughters-the nurse Antonia (Maisie Williams) and the college student Kylie (Joey King)-are both still unaware that they’re witches. It’s a promise that Sally asked her sister to keep, although she does show them some magic tricAt Jet’s funeral, Sally, Gillian, and Franny all find out Kylie has a boyfriend named Gideon (Xolo Mariduena). They both admit their feelings to each other, and because of this curse, he ends up in a coma. That’s when Kylie and Antonia both find out the truth about their heritage, that’s when the hopeless romantic takes the family’s magic book to London, and that’s when Sally and Gillian enlist the help of a handsome magic professor (Lee Pace) for help. And he is so charming that Sally may be falling in love with him, but she already has lost two husbands to this curse.

“Practical Magic 2” was now directed by Susanne Bier, who last guided Bullock in “Bird Box.” She can do better than succumb to all the sitcom and soap opera cliches that pop in. The leads babble so much to the point of confusion, as if they’re both trying to be whimsical and bubbly. In fact, it makes me wonder if they were rejected roles in “Ella McCay,” which wasn’t a good movie to start with either. And the story (based on Alice Hoffman’s “The Book of Magic” and written for the screenplay by Akiva Goldsman, Georgia Pritchett, and Kelly Marcel) goes all over the place with the spells, rituals, antagonists, and predictable plot points. It’s always the tea, the men, and the loopholes.

It all couldn’t be more time confusing. The first time ran for an hour and 40 minutes, while this one runs for two hours and ten minutes. That means we get extra babbling, extra tired jokes about carrying big suitcases upstairs, and extra endings. It keeps on ending and ending, and we just want it to get the point and be done with it.

I still think the reason why people would be salvaging to see this sequel is because they still love Bullock and Kidman, and I still love them. These two actresses can still look good in the 2020s, and if you don’t believe me see Bullock in “The Lost City” and “Bullet Train,” and Kidman in “Babygirl,” “The Northman,” and “Being the Ricardos.” But “Practical Magic 2” is neither of those films of the comic, romantic, or dramatic level. It’s on the Hallmark level.

And now, I want a potion to make me forget this movie. Or it could make my problems even worse. I don’t want to find out.